Help kids acquire the life skills they need to grow into confident, self-sufficient adults.
You’ve heard the stories before:
- The student who excelled in high school but dropped out of college because he didn’t know how to independently manage his time.
- Highly intelligent adults who stumble through life because they never learned how to manage money and stay out of debt.
- Bosses receiving phone calls from employee’s parents – since their children don’t know how to speak up for themselves.
Our primary focus as parents tends to be on school. Getting kids through school successfully. Seeing that they get good grades. Making sure they’ll be accomplished and well-rounded enough to get into a good college.
But basic life skills – from doing laundry to learning how to stand up for oneself – can be equally important to our children’s success. Without many of the skills listed below, even the most well-educated adult will find himself at a disadvantage in both the workplace and life.
While kids may be able to acquire some of these skills in school (time management) or take classes (cooking or driver’s ed) a few are more nuanced and require the encouragement and support of a parent (becoming a self-starter).
15 Life Skills Every Child Needs to Learn:
Many of these fifteen skills are now second nature to us adults, so it can be difficult to remember which skills our kids need to learn before leaving home. This list should help! And it provides links to resources and books to get you started.
Can you think of any other life skills kids need? Write them in the comments below!
Want to do one thing that could literally make or break your kid’s success as an adult? Teach them about money.
Other than an education, nothing will ensure kids success as an adult than teaching them to be money-savvy. This includes understanding what it takes to manage money, delay gratification, the responsible ways to handle debt, and investing for future goals.
Parents can begin to teach kids about money as soon as they are able to talk. Having conversations with kids about money is proven to be one of the most important ways for kids to learn. When they’re a bit older, letting kids manage money on their own provides hands-on education and will help kids understand how money works and the importance of saving towards a goal.
To read more about teaching kids about money start here:
Learning How to Cook
Research shows that people who frequently cook meals at home eat healthier and consume fewer calories than those who cook less. So teaching kids how to cook often means setting them up for a healthier diet in the future.
Plus, home cooked meals are often less expensive than prepared foods. So adults who know how to cook also have the ability to keep their food budgets in check.
The first step in getting kids comfortable in the kitchen is to make sure they have tools and gadgets that are safe and easy for them to use. See 11 Tools That Turn Kids Into Confident Kitchen Helpers for a list of helpful supplies.
Thirty Handmade Days provides some great ideas for how to begin teaching kids to cook in its post, Kids Cooking Camp at Home.
And the online course Kids Cook Real Food – teaches kids all the basic cooking skills they need to become independent chefs and bakers.
Other resources include two popular kids’ cookbooks that incorporate cooking lessons alongside recipes:
How to be a Self-Starter
Employers today complain about recent graduates entering the workforce and needing step-by-step instructions to complete even the smallest task. Many of these graduates grew up in households where parents kept them on schedule and hovered over every task.
And while parent involvement is certainly beneficial to some extent, letting kids experience a bit of independence – and especially letting them figure a few things out on their own – will nurture feelings of self-esteem that translate into a can-do attitude.
Homework is one of the biggest areas where parents tend to hover, but sometimes it’s tricky to determine when a parent should get involved and when they should back off. This guide by Joanne Nesbitt can help: Helping Kids Become Self-Starters.
The book Can-Do Kids, written by an entrepreneur and a child psychologist, examines what it takes to raise kids who have a self-starter mindset similar to entrepreneurs. (Hint – the answers are easier than you’d think!). Read my review of the book here.
Don’t know when it’s appropriate for kids to begin doing certain tasks on their own? My free printable is an age-appropriate guide to kids independence:
How to Talk to Strangers
Out in the world on their own, our kids will encounter many strangers – professors, coaches, advisors, landlords, store clerks, hairdressers, waiters, managers, and co-workers just to name a few.
Our adult kids need to know how to look these people in the eyes, clearly communicate with them and possibly even advocate for themselves if need be. But if kids have never been encouraged to speak to strangers on their own – if their parents have always spoken for them – kids communication skills will be stilted which could, among other things, come across poorly in a job interview.
And that advice parents give to kids about “not talking to strangers”? Stats show it’s more likely your TV set will fall on your child’s head than a stranger will abduct him or her. Try a different approach that lets kids know that not all strangers are bad. For example, one Mom told her kids that if they ever get lost to look for another mom with kids – she’ll be most likely willing to help.
Independently Manage Time
Let’s face it, there are many adults who could still learn a thing or two about time management. But the more kids understand how to manage their time before going off to school on their own, the more successful they’ll be.
Managing one’s time in order to get out the door in time for school and prioritizing homework over playtime are all lessons kids need to learn in order to successfully manage a busy college schedule or later, determine in which order to get work projects done.
While it might be tempting to simply dictate when kids should do which activities in what order, kids will learn best if they’re able to practice time management independently.
Bullet four in this article, Don’t Procrastinate! Teach Your Child Time Management is an especially helpful tip for getting kids to begin taking ownership over their time management.
How to Stand Up for Yourself
Adults are often in situations where they have to advocate for themselves – asking a boss for a raise, letting a stranger know they accidently cut them in line or telling a waiter that he didn’t add up the bill correctly.
These situations can sometimes be tricky, but imagine if we’d never been given the chance to practice standing up for ourselves – with teachers, coaches or peers?
While it may be tempting at times, and occasionally necessary for parents to speak up and advocate for their kids, this should be the exception, not the rule. Instead, embrace opportunities for kids to take the lead, and stand up for themselves. These moments will help build kids’ confidence and set them up for greater success as adults.
Parents can also coach kids through tricky situations by being willing to listen and offering advice if it’s asked for. Sometimes kids just need to talk about difficult situations about friends or teachers in order to figure out the solution on their own. Know too that kids are watching you and taking notes on what you do if the need comes to advocate for yourself.
For more about how parents can help kids stand up for themselves see: How to Help Kids Stand Up for Themselves
How to Raise an Adult, by Julie Lythcott-Haims
How to Cope with Failure
Failure is tough. And seeing your kids fail? Even tougher.
But as difficult as it is to sit on the sidelines and see our kids make mistakes – failure is full of big lessons.
As Jessica Lahey, author of the book “The Gift of Failure” says, when parents correct their kid’s mistakes, they’re helping in the moment but ultimately doing harm. Kids who have never had to deal with failure find themselves unable to cope as adults when a relationship goes sour or a work project doesn’t pan out.
“All this swooping and fixing make for emotionally, intellectually, and socially handicapped children,” she writes, “unsure of their direction or purpose without an adult on hand to guide them.”
Read more about the importance of letting kids fail here: How to Give Your Child the Gift of Failure
How to Find a Job
Remember the first time you put together a resume and were lost about all the “rules”? Or those feelings of uncertainty as you walked into your first interview?
There’s a protocol to finding a job, and practicing all the steps it takes to land one is valuable for kids.
Unfortunately, not as many teens are given the opportunity to work a part-time job with after school activities and summers being filled up with sports, classes and volunteer trips to Costa Rica.
But as a college admissions officers told Quartz – applicants who hold jobs over the summer are far more enticing than those who volunteer at an orphanage in India or interned on Wall Street.
And there’s no need to wait until kids are teens to begin getting kids accustomed to what it means to work. This resource provides over 90+ ideas on how kids can make money given their different interests: How to Make Money as a Kid
How to Do Laundry
To adults, the basic task of doing laundry feels like second nature. After so many years of running the regular wash cycle and pressing high heat on the dryer, it’s difficult to conceive of a time when we didn’t know how to clean clothes.
But doing one’s laundry actually takes a little guidance. And no parent wants to send their kids off to school only to have them ridiculed for not knowing the difference between a washer and a dryer.
This mother provides a good checklist of the steps kids need to take to do their laundry in How to Teach Young Kids to do Laundry.
Take Care of Their Own Things/Be Organized
It’s common knowledge that staying organized – having everything in its right place – can make people more successful at any given task.
While some kids and adults are naturally organized, for those who aren’t, parents can help by using checklists, providing bins and shelving for toys or school work, and following routines such as setting out clothes and packing a school bag the night before.
For more ideas on how to teach kids to be organized see:
How to Clean and Take Care of a House
One of the best ways to teach kids how to clean and take care of a house is through chores. As much as we tell them why it’s important to keep a clean house, actually doing it themselves will help them understand what’s involved.
And let’s face it – this will pay off for your kids later in life when they have roommates or get married. Because no one wants to live with a slob.
Beyond learning practical tasks such as how to clean a toilet or mop a floor, chores are also shown to help kids academically, emotionally, and professionally. (See How Daily Chores Set Kids Up for Success in Life to learn more)
For information on kids chores see:
How to Spend Money Wisely
Shopping seems easy enough – go into a store, purchase what you need and leave.
But to be good at shopping – and essentially manage money well – one needs to understand the importance of delayed gratification, saving towards a goal, determining what a good price is for an item and why it may not make sense to purchase something just because it’s on sale.
Kids can begin to understand these hidden variables in the shopping experience if they are given the chance to manage some money on their own. Some parents may do this with a weekly allowance, while others might choose an allowance for only certain expenditures like clothing.
Here are some other resources to help kids practice shopping and managing money on their own:
How to Drive Safely and Take Care of Cars
Even if a teen doesn’t own their own car, it’s a good idea for them to know the basics of car ownership, such as how to pump gas, when the oil needs changing, and what to do when you get a flat tire.
Some of these topics will be covered in a driver’s ed class, but some will not. Here are a few helpful articles to make sure you cover the basics:
Learn to Swim/Water Safety
Most parents know that learning how to swim is an essential life skill to keeping kids safe – especially if they spend any time around water or pools.
But beyond this practical reason, swimming is also a low-impact sport that can be done throughout one’s lifetime.
Kids can begin to learn how to swim as early as 18 months when, at that point, the idea is to get them comfortable with the water. The easiest way to teach kids to swim is through lessons.
To get a sense of which skills kids can acquire at certain ages click on the following links:
Use a Map and Take Public Transportation on Their Own
Not every kid lives in a city, but whenever possible it’s helpful for kids to get a sense of how to navigate public transportation on their own. This can be done by getting kids involved when navigating a map or having them help figure out which path to follow to get to the right train.
Or you could do as the Japanese do and let your kids go on errands as young as 2 or 3.
But it that’s too young for your taste, it’s still worth considering some of the advantages of letting kids roam safe neighborhoods and cities on their own, as this Atlantic article points out: Let Your Kids Ride the Bus Alone
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